It's Getting Closer

It's getting closer to Adam's 1st birthday. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time because it's so hard to think of Adam not being a baby anymore. It's crazy. I brought this little boy home and now he isn't as little.



For the next baby, we are going to try to conceive a girl. Parks genetics don't give much hope, but Brad and Shawna are having a girl, so there has to be a chance, right? We are going to try all the methods we can, pray really hard, and have lots of fun doing it! I think we are going to start trying in late September or early October. The fun will start soon!

Gentry Drive through Safari

We spent a good couple of hours at the safari and Adam loved it. He got to drive the car (which I think he enjoyed the most) and loved pointing and talking about the animals especially the window hugging emus! It was a good day!

Things are slow

Things are slow right now and I really like it that way. It's been nice being a stay-at-home mom and I really hope that doesn't change, but who knows, I may have to get a job, but that's just ok if that's what the Lord wants.
Brent didn't get the part-time band position in Gravette. They suspended hiring which is stinky. We were really hoping that he would land it. Ugh... Back to the search.
I had a car wreck last week. I rear ended a lady. Lucky me. I couldn't tell you what happened, but I can tell you that dealing with insurance people is a nightmare. I hope everything turns out ok.
Adam is 10 months old and that's crazy. Oh my gosh! He's getting to big for his parents. I can't believe its already been 10 months! He will be 1 before long. What will I do!?

Jeez...What a Freaking Fabulous Day...

So, I think that no one must like me. I swear I must have some sort of repellent perfume or something. It seems like no one (except Brent) really cares anything about me. Today, I had an incident with a family member that didn't go over well. Let's just say something has been boiling inside me for over a week and when I tell him how I feel about it and that I deserve at least some respect, he pretty much pisses on me. I should just quit telling people how I feel because all it does it get my face completely walked (or stomped) all over. The one time I stand up for myself I get totally shot down and then blown out of the water all over again. It feels like high school drama all over again...I just want people to look at me like I'm a living, breathing human being that has feelings and is any actually person. Maybe I'm being selfish about how I feel, but when people have done this to you for a few years you begin to wonder about who you and whether or not anyone ever gave a flip about you in the first place. Maybe they don't. Maybe family is nothing but a lie to make people feel like they have someone. I'm tired of sitting on the sidelines waiting for another person to run right over me. I'm tired of being forgotten. I'm tired of trying to find a friend. I'm tired of crying every day. I'm tired of wakening up and remembering that I don't have a friend. That there is no one to call to hang out with. I'm tired of the endless black hole that circles above my head and won't let me go. I'm tired of enduring. It's a hard road and a lonely road. I feel like even God has turned His back on me even when I'm praying and reading my scriptures. Will this cloud ever leave? Will anyone ever want to be my friend? Will anyone ever have any respect for me or my feelings? Does anyone really love me? I mean love me for the person I am. Can you not see behind these eyes of rain? Is the black cloud that looms over me hiding me from you?

Another Day

It's been a nice couple of weeks with my parents and sister's on vacation. In fact, Brent and I have had so much fun running around in our pj's not having to worry about someone knocking on the door, so I have to say I am very happy about that. Oh and they have the most fabulous bed I have ever slept on by far. One day I am going to buy a bed just like. I can fall asleep on that thing in no time.
I finished the game Red Dead Redemption. It was nice to play a video game since I haven't in forever. It's so nice to just get up and not have to rush around.
Brent has a job interview on Tuesday for RGIS. I hope all goes well, we need the income. It's been tough to find jobs for a band director position. It's not what I would call the easy position to find. You have to know somebody and connections are hard to come by when you are not from this area.
Adam has his 9 month appt. on Thursday. I can't believe he is already 9 months old.
Anyway, I have an updated picture of Adam to post. It's nice to have digital cameras for instant upload. Such a wonderful invention.