Jeez...What a Freaking Fabulous Day...

So, I think that no one must like me. I swear I must have some sort of repellent perfume or something. It seems like no one (except Brent) really cares anything about me. Today, I had an incident with a family member that didn't go over well. Let's just say something has been boiling inside me for over a week and when I tell him how I feel about it and that I deserve at least some respect, he pretty much pisses on me. I should just quit telling people how I feel because all it does it get my face completely walked (or stomped) all over. The one time I stand up for myself I get totally shot down and then blown out of the water all over again. It feels like high school drama all over again...I just want people to look at me like I'm a living, breathing human being that has feelings and is any actually person. Maybe I'm being selfish about how I feel, but when people have done this to you for a few years you begin to wonder about who you and whether or not anyone ever gave a flip about you in the first place. Maybe they don't. Maybe family is nothing but a lie to make people feel like they have someone. I'm tired of sitting on the sidelines waiting for another person to run right over me. I'm tired of being forgotten. I'm tired of trying to find a friend. I'm tired of crying every day. I'm tired of wakening up and remembering that I don't have a friend. That there is no one to call to hang out with. I'm tired of the endless black hole that circles above my head and won't let me go. I'm tired of enduring. It's a hard road and a lonely road. I feel like even God has turned His back on me even when I'm praying and reading my scriptures. Will this cloud ever leave? Will anyone ever want to be my friend? Will anyone ever have any respect for me or my feelings? Does anyone really love me? I mean love me for the person I am. Can you not see behind these eyes of rain? Is the black cloud that looms over me hiding me from you?